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Old 04-01-2002, 08:46 AM
Brad Brad is offline
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Keeping your spouse happy

This topic must have been covered before but I do not remember what the thoughts were. I went fishing Saturday to Cheeseman Canyon which is two hours from my house. We stayed until dark and I got home at 9:00. When I got home my wife gave me all kinds of grief for not being home for dinner the day before a holiday. Fishing is my only vice that keeps me away from the house and I try to spread my trips out as much as possible. My wife has no desire at all to go fishing and the kids are still a little too young for a full day trip. I am sending the family to the inlaws for 10 days in June so that I can fish the Henry's Fork w/o getting into trouble but I cannot do that very often. Any creative ideas for keeping the spouse happy would be greatly appreciated.

BTW the rainbows are in full color out here and look great.

Brad
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  #2  
Old 04-01-2002, 09:56 AM
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Lefty Lefty is offline
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No help here

I gave up on trying. I fish too much-and she resents me for it. Sad but true. At least if I meet my obligations as a father and husband (has- been) I can claim my side of the street is clean. I work damn hard to accomplish that. But often her opinion of what "meeting my obs." means varies greatly from mine. Alas, the life of a fisherman.
You guys with supportive sympathetic wives, count your blessings.

Lefty
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Old 04-01-2002, 10:20 AM
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Dble Haul Dble Haul is offline
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I can reply to this, but my response will be skewed because my wife enjoys fishing. Right now she uses spinning gear to jig up tons of panfish and smallmouth, but over the past few years she has really taken a liking to fly tying and seeing me catch fish on her creations. Last summer she caught a couple of sunfish on my 3 weight and had a blast, and says that she'd eventually like to get more into it.

But she's not as fanatical about fishing as I am, so it's gotta be a two way street. She's a musician, so when she's out playing the piano or the violin I attend whenever possible. And when I start to wonder whether or not we're doing too much of what I want to do, I ask what she wants to do. Sometimes it's in line with fishing, sometimes it's not. And when it's not, we share in an activity that she wants to do. Disclaimer: this is sometimes easier said than done, especially when there's great hatches going on or the tides are just right!

I knew when I married Anne that there would be compromise. She knew that she was marrying the epitome of a fishing fanatic, and I knew that my time on the water would sometimes be limited. But the pluses of my marriage far outweigh any of the compromises, and that's something that I can accept.
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Old 04-01-2002, 10:41 AM
Jimmy Jimmy is offline
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another vise?

This is a question that man has pondered from the time of Adan and Eve. I can relate. But I am also very fortunate. Years ago, I had many,many,many vises. Fishing didn't make the top ten list. To make a long story short, I have removed all but a few vises from my life. The only vises I have left above the hips are smoking(working on it), fishing and a Renzetti. In my wifes eyes, fishing aint so bad. If it's possible, you could develope one or two more vises. Nothing major. Just something she dislikes more than fishing. When you give them up, fishing won't look all that bad.
In all reality, I make sure that my duties as husband and father are completed prior to hitting the water. It cuts down on my fishing time. But it makes that time more rewarding. As far as my "new vise" advise, I wouldn't try it. You may find that you enjoy yuor new vise better than your old one.:hehe:
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Old 04-01-2002, 10:52 AM
John Desjardins John Desjardins is offline
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The best compromise I reached with my wife was that I would fish the predawn & morining then meet her and my son at the beach at 10:30 AM, and then my son was my responsibility while she enjoyed the beach. Alas child #2 arrived and I haven't been able to do this in several years.

Among the things I've learned NOT to do are:
While on vacation leave her and a child in a cabin with no TV or car and go fishing. The bear I saw 40 feet away that day was less frightening than my wife when I got back.

Attempt to go fishing when any childs activity is going on or planned. This includes far more than most people would think.

Sit and read a fishing magazine (or worse a catalog) while my wife talks. Especially bad if its a catalog and she is talking about finance.
Sorry I don't have any great suggestions Brad.
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Old 04-01-2002, 11:42 AM
Roop Roop is offline
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Make hay while the sun shines.

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Old 04-01-2002, 04:47 PM
jborkowski jborkowski is offline
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The answer.

marriage? what's marriage?
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Old 04-02-2002, 08:43 AM
John Desjardins John Desjardins is offline
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Two more thoughts

Try 1/2 day trips. My wife is a morning person and a morning alone with the kids doesn't bother her as much as a full day.

Find a spot where you can stop on the way home for 45 minutes of fishing a couple of times a week. It gets the jones off, and doesn't get noticed as time spent fishing by the wife.

Jeff B: you'll learn some day.
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Old 04-02-2002, 09:37 AM
mitch mitch is offline
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Do more.

1. Show a woman the artistic value in anything you do and it will help take the edge off of a vice that takes much away from a young family.
2. Take interests in things she does. I have learned too much about scrap-booking. I don't care for it, nor do I care spending $$ on stickers and funky scissors, and she knows it. But I see the gesture reciprocated when I just gotta have [insert anything under the sun here] that she thinks is totally stupid.
3. Schedule fishing time around the kids sleeping habits and her activities.
4. Practice casting at the park when the kids are running around.
5. Buy a ~$100 fly rod and a Pfleuger reel all loaded up. When she asks why you bought it, tell her it's for her anytime she chooses to participate in an activity together. Don't ever use that rod or reel yourself, even if she says she'll never use it.
6. Start dropping hints that you're interested in golf or some other hobby that the gear costs a lot, takes even more time from your family, and you pay as you play. Fishing won't seem so bad then.
Just some suggestions,
Mitch
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Old 04-03-2002, 09:43 AM
OC OC is online now
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Not married but have been going out with the same wonderful woman for 5 years now. Couple of days ago I asked her what she wanted for her up coming B-day? She just looked at me with sad eyes and eventually said," my B-day was March 4th". Ouch, that hurt! To make up for it we agreed to a day on the Yakima River, trout fishing and with me being the guide for the day. This will include a gooood bottle of whine, the best Italian lunch meats and if the sun is out and it's warm a little stream side loving in some isolated spot. Also bought her a wonderful trout fly fishing related gift and I will take her out that evening on the way home to dinner seeing I missed Valentines day because of being out of town for work.
As much as I hate trout fishing anymore I will enjoy every minute of this trip with the best woman I've ever been with. I'll always will feel guilty for missing her B-day and I know she will never try and get revenge and will let me go steelhead fishing when ever I want.
I think I'm a lucky man what ya think?
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Old 04-03-2002, 11:53 AM
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"This will include a gooood bottle of whine . . ."

Boy, is that a Freudian slip or what!
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Old 04-03-2002, 04:37 PM
OC OC is online now
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God, flyman your right that was a hell of a freudin slip. Guess I'm still gun shy after one wife and many girl friends that I've screwed up on because of one thing or another, usually fishing related. Let's hope the gooood bottle of wine will stem off a loooong day of whine. If not then I'll get what I deserve.
OC
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  #13  
Old 04-03-2002, 06:48 PM
admin admin is offline
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Very romantic, I hope it all works out... but let's keep in mind that our families and anglers of all ages read our posts so we should be careful not to go beyond what you see on prime time TV. On second thought, let's set our standards much higher
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Old 04-03-2002, 07:45 PM
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Lefty Lefty is offline
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Hey Admin,

I find nothing offensive here. What gives? What is offensive is the thought of a nice rosey "PC" weboard that denies that the constituents are 99% men who fish and swear on occasion. Let's keep it reasonably clean but too much of that kind of sterile enviroment could be the downfall of honest discourse. Besides, this kind of revealing insight into how being a fisherman can affect your life is very interesting and it's who we are. Germain comments IMO.


Lefty

ps. Disagreeing with the admin on occasion should be allowed too.

Last edited by Lefty; 04-03-2002 at 07:49 PM.
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Old 04-03-2002, 08:56 PM
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ssully ssully is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by admin
Very romantic, I hope it all works out... but let's keep in mind that our families and anglers of all ages read our posts so we should be careful not to go beyond what you see on prime time TV. On second thought, let's set our standards much higher
Dear Abbymin,

HRUMPH!!! Prime TV??? Holy Sheeeeat! The Osbornes are the #1 prime tv show and average using the "F" word 139 times per episode. Where you been?

Look this whole thread is crap! Brad grow some nads and tell the old lady you're goin fishin and that's that! And I'm walkin the walk Bubba. That Bonefish report I just posted is point in fact. We're on our 25th anniversery and I grab a flight outta town. Damn to a whole other island to go fishin for the day. Have a nice day HON! Dont' sell the farm.

If she still keeps whinin send her here.
http://home.attbi.com/~ssully/stuff/WifSkool.WMV

Last edited by ssully; 04-03-2002 at 09:11 PM.
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