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Old 02-20-2002, 10:20 AM
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striblue striblue is offline
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Striblue's 1st Annual top 10 useless FF products

OK this is the 1ST ANNUAL REVIEW.. Please note that this is my opinion and not meant to insult or offend. This is for year 2002. so here goes...... Number 10- PLASTIC SQUEEZE WATER BOTTLES-Why anyone would pay up to 5 bucks for this is beyond me when they can buy one at a local variety store for a buck ... with the water in it. Number 9---DOG CUSHIONS-- I only mention this because I am trying to figure out why Orvis would devote 2 pages in it's flyfishing catalogue to advertise Dog Cushions... anyone know why? NUmber 8-- CERAMIC NIPPERS-Why? ..because they don't work..that's why. Number 7---FLIP FOCALS-- You know... the ones you attach to the brim of your hat and look though from about 1 foot.. the same ones that go flying off with your5 fly on every 5th roll cast. Number 6-- ABEL MINI TOOL-- $40 bucks.... please!!!!! Number 5- HAWAIIAN PRINT FLATS SHIRTS-- Good for Apres flyfishing and at the local watering hole... but on the flats .. a sure fire way to scare the poop out of every fish.. all I can say is ,"Bookem, Dano". Number 4--- TRADITIONAL MULT-POCKET FISHING VESTS - Sorry guys... but until I got rid of mine and opted for the simple vest pack, I had this continious nightmare of being swamed by PETA members all looking like the cast of the original "Night of the Living Dead" and I was frantically looking for my car keys.... but kept ripping useless flyfishing gadgets from the pockets.. I can even talk about it now... but .. don't worry.. the vests are now being used as mandatory equipement at local Adult education programs teaching ,"How to improve and strenghten your Memory". Number 3--WATERPROOF FLY BOXES-- Why I ask? You will be getting you flies wet anyway by opening and closing all day.. they may keep the water out but they also keep it in... so if you forget to wash out your box.. if in saltwater ..on a Sunday night... by next weekend you will have the look of that German Guy who opened the Ark of the Covenant in the first Indiana Jones Movie. Number 2- ORVIS STRIKE INDICATORS-- The low Flow indicator.... the Turn -on stike indicator... the nymph tracker indicator... and My favorite... the Pop - Top indicator.... The stick always points in the dirction of the fly.. when the stick is up... the fly is straight below... idicatating optimal drift...The product should come with a copy of Stephen Hawkings, " The Universe In a Nut Shell",, you should then master the concepts of Quantum Mechanics... and wear your flip-focals. Number 1 and an all timmer-- ORVIS ONE SHOE FOR EVERY SITUATION-- For $150 bucks you get the shoe.. then you pay $30 bucks and get the studded felt insert sole... then for another $30 bucks you get the studded rubber insert sole... then for just $20 bucks more you get the Plain felt sole... you do the Math... well that's it folks.

Last edited by striblue; 02-20-2002 at 12:59 PM.
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  #2  
Old 02-20-2002, 10:27 AM
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Hawkeye Hawkeye is offline
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Arrrrgh! Don't leave me hangin like that! What are the rest?
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  #3  
Old 02-20-2002, 10:29 AM
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#7 - Ghink Brand Fly sink liquid! Instead of floatant, this liquid makes the fly wet so it sinks. :hehe:
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Old 02-20-2002, 11:02 AM
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Great list Striblue.

I probably would only switch out one. The dog beds are useful cause they keep the dog in one place while I am tying flies...

I would put in the vac-u-rac car top rod holders. Sorry if someone uses them but I finds them kinda silly.

I for one am not going to trust my $500 rods to stay safe on my roof by the power of suction.Just break em down folks and it gives you a good excuse to re-wax your ferrules.

Plus they cost $100. Think of how much ghink you can buy for $100. You can get your flies down real *deep* and create your own mini oil slick in the process.

-sean
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Old 02-20-2002, 11:22 AM
John Desjardins John Desjardins is offline
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Quote:
Number 9---DOG CUSHIONS-- I only mention this because I am trying to figure out why Orvis would devote 2 pages in it's flyfishing catalogue to advertise Dog Cushions... anyone know why?
High profit margin.

I'd add to the list any fly box that doesn't float, and Orvis strike putty. Use it and your a double haul away from turning your your strike indicator into liter .
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Old 02-20-2002, 11:33 AM
Brad Brad is offline
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Great list, I do not have 10 favorites but here are a couple. I hate the fly floatant holder that hangs upside down on your vest. I emptied an entire bottle of floatant down the front of my shirt the first week I had it. Wheatly fly boxes. The are pretty but $100 for a box is a bit steep. They are too big anyway. Neopreen waders. I finally bought some breathables and will never go back.

Brad
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  #7  
Old 02-20-2002, 11:57 AM
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Good list unfortunately I am still using the Multi Pocket old style fly vest. After 40 years of FF it would be to radical for me to change now.

BTW, does any body ever wash their vest or do you just (like me) let the river wash it for you ? Bad luck to wash your vest I think.

:hehe:

Have to think of other useless things for the list. Although I don't usually by from Orvis so I may not have as many ideas.

Later
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Old 02-20-2002, 12:01 PM
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I actually thought about the rod racks Sean mentioned and the upside down bottles. I don't consider Wheatley boxes useless.. just expensive and more of a classic English FF product...Good to store special flies at home... the good all foam flaoting fly boxes that breath are what you want. PM... please add to the list.. I would wash my old vest but I am afraid I will not be able to empty everything in the pockets. Hmmmmm. I know there is a set of car keys in there.... let's see... if I can only remember where......

Last edited by striblue; 02-20-2002 at 12:08 PM.
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  #9  
Old 02-20-2002, 12:15 PM
kcsmes kcsmes is offline
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To each his own I guess. I feel naked without my vest and those chest things look awkward but I have never tried one. Speaking of washing vests, did anyone see the picture of the vest that was donated to some museum by Prince Charles or some other royalty? It was in American Angler or Fly Rod and Reel recently and was totally discusting. It looks like the prince has enough $$ to hire someone else to fall in for him!
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Old 02-20-2002, 12:20 PM
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John --

I hope you'll be coming to the UFT auction in April.....there are bound to be a couple of things that you'll feel obliged to buy and field test!!





(I hope you were "comped" for at least a few of the things
on your list!!!!!!!)

--j
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  #11  
Old 02-20-2002, 12:22 PM
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The suction holders are indispensable for bank hopping with Spey rods, so they can't be on the list. And don't diss my Wheatley unless you're ready to downgrade your reels to pfleugers and put them on an ugly stick (yes they actually do make flyrods)

Striblue, as you know I've been a chest pack fan on the flats for several years and have encouraged a number of folks to drop their vests as well - but the traditional vest is perfect for the gadgetry needed for trout, salmon or steelhead flyfishing on cool forest streams. Can't be on the useless list

Neoprene? Two words: winter steelhead. There is a 'use' for them for sure, but they're not all-purpose by any means.

Our standards for uselessness must be the very highest... lowest? :hehe:
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  #12  
Old 02-20-2002, 12:31 PM
John Desjardins John Desjardins is offline
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Hey whats wrong with Pflueger reels . Some of us still use them.

One more that I thought of is the spring retractor for nets. It's lots of fun ducking when the net comes flying back at your head after its stuck on a bush.
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  #13  
Old 02-20-2002, 12:31 PM
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How about those funky *ss corkscrew things that you screw into your flyline so you can tie your leader directly to that.

Some people will buy anything...and I once did. But I was young and didnt know a nail knot from a clinch knot.
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Old 02-20-2002, 12:57 PM
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striblue striblue is offline
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Ok.. I knew this would be taken personnal... the vest thing is probably ok for Trout fishing.. but not for escaping from the usual crowd and starting your car... Seriously... for saltwater fishing I would not wear it. I am trying to think of a term different than "useless". I guess everything is useful depending on what you are doing. When I come up the word I will edit the list title.
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  #15  
Old 02-20-2002, 03:29 PM
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John- How about "overrated", "overhyped", or "overused"? That ought to be less conflicting to others.

And yeah, what's wrong with Pflueger reels?
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