Actually do know my dentist well; will give Susan and call and see if I can get her to fork over. They use the small ("Please bite down gentle) kind so don't know if this would be workable.
Joan and I had 28 1/2 acres of which 15 were planted in P. Gris, Merlot, Cab Franc and Cab Sav. Also had a small 'personal patch' with Vionier (never could remember how to spell that but GOD I loved the wine it produced). Nice young couple came in and offered us a large cashier's check and Joan (the spoil sport) said "that would be just fine thank you." But still have a couple of hundred bottles in stock ... and not a screw top in the bunch.
Actually, the screw top and wine in a box are two of the very best ways to 'cork' or keep wine. Just zero pazzazz with the public. When you get over to this side of the Pond, I'll make sure you have many 'wet' evenings.