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-   -   What's in My Vest (http://www.flyfishingforum.com/flytalk4/showthread.php?t=10194)

blawless 03-10-2003 11:22 PM

What's in My Vest
 
Let me just say that there's plenty of good stuff in there:
over a thousand flies, leaders, tippets, various bottles of stuff, including whiskey, anti-bug, anti-sun, anti-sink, anti-float, anti-histamines, anti-this and anti-that. Tools: knives, hemostats, clippers, scissors,l lights, .380 auto job, pliers, a small saw, a hatchet, and another back-up gun, a stainless steel .44 magnum .

For safety, I have an automatic and manuel inflation device, a rocket pistol and about a dozen flares, the guns, Band-Aids, matches, aspirins, my medications, and various other lineaments, lotions, and balms.
But I won't bore you further with such common and ordinary gear. It's the non-traditional stuff that I carry that is of interest here.
I haul a live parrot in my upper left hand pocket. He is not allowed on the right hand side where my rod is because one time he snipped my line in a New York second when I had a huge fish on one moment and he was gone the next. He asked for a cracker. No cracker! Bad bird!
He's a lot of fun when I'm standing alone in the pouring rain out in the middle of the river with not a chance in hell to catch anything.
I'm frozen, depressed, frightened, hungry, thirsty, sick, roaring headache, exhausted, and I'm giving some thought to calling it a day, particularly because it is getting dark anyway.
That's when my buddy, "Oleander," comes in handy. All he can say are filthy, obscene, sinful words. As a result, I don't have to waste needed energy using these vile expressions myself. You might consider buying a parrot (EBay) if you think you need added help when having so much fun. I also carry a small dog,"Smolt" who works well licking the tears from my cheeks when the going gets tough; he can stay in the pocket on the right upper side because he has threaten my line only once and I had no fish on.
Sometimes I carry so much gear (a small, battery operated, color t..v., some travel brochures, etc.) that I can't fish. So I just sit on the bank, using my parrot and dog to help me get by. I've thought about getting rid of either the scissors or the nippers and maybe carry only one gun. But naw, you just never know. boblawless

BobK 03-11-2003 08:29 AM

Looks familiar..... A question ....
 
Haven't I read this (or something very similar) before, somewhere else?

BobK

Dble Haul 03-11-2003 09:10 AM

I've read this somewhere else too.....can't quite put my finger on it.

Just me 03-11-2003 11:55 AM

Bob is all over the place and if it wasn't for his humor these places would not be very interesting. Some of them are very funny.:D

pmflyfisher 03-11-2003 12:09 PM

I know where to find it.

:D

PM Out

blawless 03-11-2003 12:24 PM

Yes, this is a re-run
 
Is nothing secret anymore? Can't a man just hide in another website and enjoy his stuff again? Fortunately, one of my buddies from this other website endorsed me so it changed the focus somewhat of the responses I got.
I plan to share what I have created with those who are not aware of it. For the others, please accept my apologies.
blawless:)

pmflyfisher 03-11-2003 12:39 PM

Bob,

There are no secrets on the internet. I am sure the other FFF forum members which have not been exposed to this type of fly fishing prose will welcome it. I got quite a kick out of it. I would like to apply some of your ideas for sure. Just don't write about me.

:D

Best

Hal

PM Out

striblue 03-11-2003 01:49 PM

I had a Full vest once but now I just use a chest vest.. when I had a vest I would like to test myself with how good my memory was... so..... I would drive into a dangerious part of town, or look for a bunch of Hell's Angles.... I would then place my car keys in one of the pockets and spin the vest around...usually I did this the day before my town trip... Now... I would park my car about 100 feet from the Hell's Angles or other rouffians.. get out of my car and yell over to them that I have never seen such a bunch of pussies in my life, or other provocative comments.... as they tore after me.. I would jump into my car and try to find my keys... It was exhilerating, as I frantically torn each pocket apart only to find useless flyfishing stuff...my thrills increased as my sence of doom approached....but alas, I would usually find the keys just in time...sometimes driving off with a couple of the boy scouts on the hood of my car.... I am older now and don't feel like I need to constantly test myself and feel satisfied with out the rush. So anyway...I only use the smaller chest vest.

removed_by_request 03-11-2003 01:58 PM

Don't use a vest anymore, have a couple of nice chest/fanny packs which are pretty neat.

Not a ton of room, but enough to carry all you need if packed properly.

blawless 03-11-2003 11:28 PM

What's in My Vest
 
Thanks guys for the kind words. May your fly touch down lightly a few inches in front of a nice brown who is both stupid and hungry.
blawless:chuckle:

pmflyfisher 03-12-2003 10:09 AM

Bob,

There are no stupid browns. I hate and love that fish. Many a frustrating day matching the hatch on the NY Catskill rivers, Beaverkill, Willowemuc, Delaware, etc...

But if I had Bobk with me I bet I would have done well with his secret hendrikson fox urine stained dubbed body pattern !:whoa:

OK, back to corporate chaos.

PM Out

P.S. Striblue, please remember the "family" language forumn policy.:chuckle: :chuckle:

BobK 03-12-2003 06:23 PM

Secret???
 
Not a "secret", but part of the ORIGINAL pattern (which also included a tail of golden pheasant tippets!) Darbee still used the original "Urine Stained Red Fox belly fur body", and that portion works EXCELLENT. Never tried the golden pheasant tippets, though - never had to!

BobK

John Desjardins 03-12-2003 07:51 PM

I thought it was Female urine stained underfur.

BobK 03-12-2003 09:31 PM

You're right!
 
100% RIGHT! Shoulda checked my notes. The fox is supposed to be a vixen.

BobK


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