: Provincetown Doctor...
Three desperately ill P-town men met with their doctor one day to discuss their options. One was an alcoholic, one was a chain smoker, and one was a homosexual. The doctor, addressing all three of them, said, "If any of you indulge in your vices one more time, you will surely die." The men left the doctor's office, each convinced that he would never again indulge himself in his vice.
While walking they passed a bar. The alcoholic, hearing the loud music and seeing the lights, could not stop himself. His buddies accompanied him into the bar, where he had a shot of whiskey. No sooner had he replaced the shot glass on the bar, he fell off his stool, stone cold dead.
His companions, somewhat shaken, left the bar, realizing how seriously they must take the doctor's words. As they walked along, they came upon a cigarette butt lying on the ground, still burning. The homosexual looked at the chain smoker and said, "If you bend over to pick that up, we're both dead."
02-29-2000, 11:06 AM
Do you know what you do when you drop your wallet in P-Town?
Kick it to Truro then pick it up!
03-10-2000, 08:29 PM
They Only Come Out At Night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Never forget the night under Highland Light, NO one around, tide down 3 hours....
Big bass in the bowls...
While landing a good fish Out of the darkness of the cliffs Comes this screaming thing.... I got streaked........
still don't no if it was male or female.... Can get spooky down there sometimes!
(Still laughing) Tony - It's pretty bad when we can't figure out if they're male or female... maybe "it" was a naked PAT! http://18.104.22.168/images/flytalk/Wilk.gif
03-11-2000, 09:04 PM
A priest decides to take a walk to the pier near his church. He
looks around and finally stops to watch a fisherman load his
boat. The fisherman notices and asks the priest if he'd like to
join him for a couple of hours. The priest agrees.
The fisherman asks if the priest has ever fished before, to
which the priest answers no. He baits the hook and says, "Give
it a shot, Father."
After a few minutes, the priest hooks a big fish and struggles
to get it in the boat.
The fisherman says, "Whoa, look at that big sonofabitch!"
Priest: "Uh, sir, can you please mind your language?"
Fisherman: (THINKING QUICKLY): "I'm sorry, Father, but that's
what the fish is called: -- a sonofabitch."
Priest: "Oh, I'm sorry, I did not know."
After the trip, the priest brings the fish to the church and
stops the Bishop.
Priest: "Look at this big sonofabitch!"
Bishop: "Please, mind your language, this is a house of god."
Priest: "No, you don't understand! That's what the fish is
called and I caught it. I caught this sonofabitch!"
Bishop: "Hmmm, you know I could clean this sonofabitch and we
could have it for dinner." So the Bishop takes the fish, cleans
it and takes it to the head mother.
Bishop: "Could you cook this sonofabitch for dinner tonight?"
Head Mother: "My word, what language!"
Bishop: "No, Sister, that's what this fish is called, a
sonofabitch! Father caught it, I cleaned it, and we want you to cook it."
Head Mother: "Yes, I'll cook that sonofabitch tonight."
That night the Pope stops by for dinner. He thinks the fish is
great and asks where they got it.
Priest: "I caught the sonofabitch."
Bishop: "And I cleaned the sonofabitch."
Head Mother: "And I cooked the sonofabitch."
The Pope stares at them for a minute with a steely gaze, takes
off his hat, leans back in his chair, puts his feet up on the table and says;
"You know, you f##kers are alright!"
i'm so outta here
03-12-2000, 10:16 PM
A man walks into a bar and is immediately struck by a sign above him that reads, "Free beer for those customers who pass the test." Curious, he asks the bartender what this is all about.
The bartender points to a bottle of jalepeno tequilla behind him and says, "The test has three parts. First you have to drink that entire bottle in five minutes. Next, there's a crocodile out back with a sore tooth. Pull it out. Finally, there's an old woman who lives upstairs who hasn't had sex since her husband passed away ten years ago. You have to make love to her. If you pass, you get free beer from us for the rest of your life"
The man thought about it for a while and decided that free beer for the rest of his life was worth the trouble. He motioned to the bartender to pass the bottle, unscrewed the cap, and began chugging the firey hooch.
After a few minutes and with tears streaming down his eyes, he managed to get down the last drop of tequilla and proceeded to make his way out back with a slight wobble to his step.
From the back of the property where the crocodile was kept came a tremendous roar and the sounds of a struggle. After a long silence, the man came staggering back from the croc pen, his clothing torn and his arms and legs bleeding. He surveys the room and with a triumphant swagger blurts out, "Now where's that woman with the sore tooth!!"
Last summer when Brian Lencho visited us from Seattle, we ended up in Ptown looking for some surf flyfishing and some grub. We decided the grub should come first, so we could think about fishing with a full stomach. We parked and walked thru town, two guys walking together thru Ptown. I started to feel a little uncomfortable about the whole affair. I started to feel r-e-a-l-l-y uncomfortable when the downpour started and the umbrellas came out, you could see who all the couples were...
We left and ate at the Lobster Pot in Truro.