River of the Tiller Monkeys [Archive] - Fly Fishing Forum

: River of the Tiller Monkeys

06-28-2004, 11:33 PM
Just when you thought you could not get enough of Romancing the Golden Bone, comes a new movie to a theater new you!

In my best movie trailer narrator voice...
You've emerged from a 5 year hiatus from your sport and tromp on down to your most favorite steelhead river and realize the river is now a river filled with tiller monekys. You must now befreind one of these primates to help save you from the Tilla' Gorrilla and take you to a distant river of bank maggots.


Brian Simonseth
06-29-2004, 12:57 AM
ďTilla' GorrillaĒ now your getting personal

06-29-2004, 08:47 AM
Have you been into the whacky tobacky too?

06-29-2004, 10:55 AM
Hmmmmm. So Sparkey, after spending 5 years in the State prison system, do you find you like girls more or less? :eek:

06-29-2004, 11:10 AM
Yes Sparky - if you monkey with someone's "tilla" it will only be a matter of time until he is more like a gorilla :whoa:

06-29-2004, 11:17 AM
Spark, Dude you need help!

06-29-2004, 12:27 PM
Well Sparkey, :confused: you'eve got me thinking but I'm not to sure what it is I'm thinking!!!!!!!

06-29-2004, 12:56 PM
My head hurts trying to figure this out.

06-29-2004, 03:06 PM
JJ, Spark forgot his cleated boots and smacked his dome on a rock.

06-29-2004, 03:13 PM
Sparkey got a bit too much sun the last couple days. That and getting assaulted on the river by multiple rod-wielding inbreds

He 's obviously had some interesting dreams resulting from his rude treatment. :lildevl:

Sparkey - I just want to know who you're referring to as Atilla Gorilla. I wanted that name for my next boat! :hihi:

Howlin Jets and Sputterin Kickers to y'all :eek:

06-29-2004, 03:23 PM
Possible sources for Sparky's dementia:

1) He is regressing back to his gear chucking days in the flotilla with Aunty M.

2) Too much time on the river between meals and he is hallucinating about vanilla wafers

3) He somehow met up with my old college roommate's closing-time booty call, Wendy Carilla

None of these options are pretty but option three is not a thing I want to even contemplate. :whoa:

06-29-2004, 05:20 PM
Tipper, I found sparks "tilla"



06-29-2004, 06:04 PM
You must now befreind one of these primates to help save you from the Tilla' Gorrilla

I thought he was talking about finding some "indy" fishers to help save him from the Goddess. :cool:

Brian Simonseth
06-29-2004, 06:23 PM
This could get ugly!


Wait a minute I need some pop corn and a soda be right back!


06-29-2004, 09:38 PM
When on the river, stop tucking these into your lunch! :smokin:

06-30-2004, 12:29 AM
No I'm not enjoying any organic specialities, I just realized after being harrased yesterday by a couiple of sled jockeys that many are nothing more then...well I'll just leave it at 'Tiller Monkey.'


Sharp Steelie
06-30-2004, 02:26 AM
Couldn't believe it - went fly fishing with my son and good
friend yesterday on a river close to the Portland metro area
that actually has some fish in it. We did not see a single boat
all day. Saw all of 6 other anglers all day. Everyone must
be running to the Cowlitz! All I know is we had a very peaceful
wonderful day of fly fishing on a really pretty river - it
was great. Sounds like it is a zoo up north!


06-30-2004, 02:37 AM
wha???? :confused:

06-30-2004, 02:20 PM
my long tiller handle is taking me to places that allow me to avoid `streetwalkers',`sidewalk surfer's',and all the rest ,,propwash forever! :wink:

06-30-2004, 03:04 PM
NICE PICTURE ROBERT! I have that same picture in every room of my house, I mean double wide. Have decided to sacrifice the framed one in the outhouse and send it to Sparky.

All those pics SS post across the entire internet are images from his mind after eating Panuolus Vesticolor. I wish Sparky the same as SS. Eat well Sparky eat 6.

Tilla who?

Sparky is she a sled dog?

North Island
07-01-2004, 01:11 AM
I thought those looked more like psilocibe peliculosa. Why stop at 6, the fish only get bigger :razz: and tiller monkeys will fly :)

Sparky could this be tiller envy?


07-01-2004, 04:09 PM
I saw a Tiller Monkey the other day. I had been fishing for Steelhead between the Ben Howard launch and Two Bit. I had just worked the hole above and walked down this long stretch of very fast water. The slope must have been 1% or better and un-fishable. At the tail out, there was a seam along the bank and then it opened up into a big pool. I thought, well Iíll just have a smoke at the top of the seam, switch to a pink fly and see if I canít scare up something. While Iím sitting on a rock, this big 18 foot Alumaweld comes screaming down through the shoot with six people on board. At the start of the seam, the Tiller Monkey cranks that 200 horse jet around and turns that boat 180 degrees on a dime. On command, everyone in the boat casts sand shrimp out the sides like depth charges. They then drift backwards down through my seam and into the pool below. The ensuing waves crashed upon the bank eroding several inches on both sides and the jet stirred up silt from the flood of Ď53. I finished my smoke and left.

Dble Haul
07-01-2004, 04:15 PM
No matter how upset you guys get, don't go spanking those monkeys.

07-02-2004, 12:05 AM
Hey Mattzoid - sounds like you ran into one of the increasingly common subspecies of Tiller Monkeys, a -Tilla Gorilla. :razz: More than 20' long with more than 4 anglers certainly qualifies for Gorilla status. :eek:

My .02 - complaining about Tiller Monkeys on big rivers like the Skagit, Cowlitz, or Lewis is like going to Alaska and bitching about mosquitos. If you go there, you should know what to expect.

My advice is BYOT - if you want to dance with apes better bring a monkey suit! :chuckle:


07-02-2004, 12:59 AM
My .02 - complaining about Tiller Monkeys on big rivers like the Skagit, Cowlitz, or Lewis is like going to Alaska and bitching about mosquitos. If you go there, you should know what to expect.

But at the same time, complaining about Tiller Monkeys on a serene wonderful river like the Sky is perfectly okay. I mean, you would be a little angry if you showed up at the Kitty Cat Ranch in Vegas and had nothing about $20 Hwy 99 Sea-Tac 'you know whats' to choose from. :eek: :devil:

07-03-2004, 05:38 PM
A parking lot full of sled trailers with flat tires usually sends the message loud and clear in monkey lanquage. Then the next time you see one coming down the river start lobbing handfulls of tacks at the gorilla and the dim light goes on, he slows down a bit. Then again, if you lob him some of those shrooms he'll slow down a lot! :hihi:

07-05-2004, 05:32 PM
Moose thats a good way to end up in jail... or worse. I got a better idea, if you dont like the "tiller monkeys" go somewhere else.. Nf Stilly, Kalama or what about the upper Sky? Maybe Gold Bar or higher as the sleds are rarely as high as that.
Just go fish!

Big K1
07-05-2004, 07:07 PM
The reason I don't like Tiller Monkeys is because I don't know any. I am one of the poor bank monkeys. I have not evolved from bank monkey to oar monkey or tiller monkey. :frown:


07-05-2004, 08:38 PM
I think my post came across a bit wrong - IMHO there' s a difference between being a Tiller Monkey and being A-tilla Gorilla.

Some rivers are know for their sleds. The Skagit, Cowlitz, Lewis, and lower Sky come to mind. My post was to say IF you don't like fishing in the presence of Sleds, then as BNelson said Find Other Waters to Fish. :wink:

That doesn't excuse intentionally rude or stupid behavior ("strafing" bank anglers as close as they can run to them, their rigs within a few feet of the bank you're standing on, or casting over your line).

I count Tiller Monkeys as the generic breed, while the Gorilla subspecies uses their sleds to strong-arm their way thru landlocked or slower moving anglers that dare to get in their way. EVERYBODY complains about these fools.

And these Apes not confined to sleds either. Drift boat guides (Oar-angatangs?) who pull in 20 yards below me and run plugs down the slot i'm fishing are another favorite. Low-holing bank maggots and other river derelicts can also ruin a days fishing.

Sparkey - i didn't complain about sleds on the Sky (even before I had one ;) ) as long as they were reasonably respectful of where I was fishing. I think I get your drift - no way of predicting where the Gorillas will pop up. :eek:

No sleds today - guess i wasn't on the Cowlitz! :chuckle:


07-06-2004, 01:14 AM
Oar-angatan's.......... Primeatea phobia or worse!!!!