: If you _______ you might be metrosexual

03-08-2004, 09:01 AM
During the weekend fishing the Skagit/Sauk the term metrosexual seem to find its way into our conversations frequently. We started to wonder what if anything might tip you off as to who is metrosexual.

We came up with a couple but I will only post 1. I know there are many more out there. This is all for fun so if you were the one don't take it personally.

If you drive a Saab to the native hole to fish for steelhead you might be metrosexual.

03-08-2004, 09:28 AM
Men who wear a scarf while fishing...

Smoke flavored cigarillos while on the river...

Knew there such thing as Chanel for men...

Drink white Zinfandel with shore lunch in a wicker basket...

Brought slippers to wear aprez' fish at the lodge...

Only buys flies, doesn't know how to tie after 10 years fishing...

Brings a date... hmm that don't sound too bad :devil:

03-08-2004, 09:41 AM
My contribution:

...if you show up wearing pressed L.L. Bean or Orvis clothing from head to toe...

...sporting a vest with over 20 things dangling from retractors...

03-08-2004, 10:01 AM
Does this mean I have to get rid of my CAC Cigar smoking Jacket (Made in England) and Fez? I really like that smoking jacket.;)

03-08-2004, 10:21 AM

If you drive your SAAB down to the water at the Native Hole, you ARE a metrosexual.


Don't knock the wine and basket. I had the pleasure last spring of floating the upper Sauk with a couple of the Stilly/Skagit boys and they pack a mean picnic lunch and sipping a nice cab-sav along the river is something I could get used to. These two were definetly not metrosexual.

I would add that if your indicator is color coordinated with your ear warming headband, you are a metrosexual. Hell for that matter if you have an indicator on... :devil:

Brian Simonseth
03-08-2004, 11:18 AM
sink tip

Those two guys are glad you said that!:D

By the way how did it work?

03-08-2004, 11:41 AM
I'm just kidding, I love the finer things especially on the river bank. Pass the liver pate' :hehe:

03-08-2004, 11:42 AM
You drive a hummer and it aint in Iraq.


03-08-2004, 11:53 AM
they are a lot closer to the size of my semi and on the road I feel safer when "you crazies" come over here from the coast and tear up and down the river looking for a place to skate one up. :devil: :hehe: :hehe: :hehe:

PS, I am definitely not a "metrosexual"

03-08-2004, 12:09 PM

I have not cast the tip yet. I am probably 9-12 days away from even seeing a river. It is spooled up though and I will give you a full report.

As for those two gentlemen, they are the real deal. A couple of class acts even if they do throw Skagit lines :)

03-08-2004, 12:28 PM
If you throw a short bellied line you are definitly not metrosexual

03-08-2004, 12:56 PM
You use the term "Aprez' fish"...:hehe:

03-08-2004, 01:03 PM
... If you have ever said "Brand X would do the job as well, but I only get out 2 or 3 times a year, and I felt I deserved to treat myself to the best when I do" ...

03-08-2004, 01:11 PM
If you NEED to read the fishing reports on a guide's web page or post a thread asking for reports on a web forum, then my dear boy, you are a metrosexual.

If you feel the perfect fishing experience is one shared with 15-20 friends from the internet, yes it is sad but true, you are a metrosexual.

If you complain that "this steelheading thing sure is tough, I have been out three times and never even hooked one", open up your Websters and see the picture of yourself next to metrosexual.

By the way, anyone ever read one of those guide pages where the fishing wasn't really good? :rolleyes:

03-08-2004, 01:54 PM
I've been a "metro-sexual" all my life, so I can help you guys out. Who knows, maybe more than a few of qualify, and don't even know it?
There are exceptions to evry rule, but if you can say yes to more than a couple of these things, you very well could be a "metro-sexual"...not that there is anything wrong with that;)
mac user
gets hair cut more than 6 times a year
thinks that real race car drivers can turn right and left
reads the "New Yorker"
buys more than two pairs of shoes a year
enjoys international cuisine
wears designer specs (VERY IMPORTANT!)
goes to at least one movie in a year that requires subtitles
has read Roland Barth, Susan Sontag or Don Demilo
I could go on...hey, no one is implying that there is anything wrong with metro-sexuals...right?

03-08-2004, 02:34 PM
You were wrong (but I think it's a great thing anyways). Your comment on the date isn't a metrosexual thing. It should've read like this "If you take a date fishing, you might be a redneck". :D Know lots of buddies who take dates fishing (me being one). All drove muscle cars or big 4x4's. LOL. The only "saab" you'd see on the river with my buddies was those when they lost their favorite lure/fly. LOL (I know, saab spelled different).

Love the comments, and have seen them all at one time or another. I don't mind someone driving a hummer. I just hate those who drive these vehicles and have NO idea what they're doing. I had a funny experience about 4 years ago, maybe 5. We had the bad snow storm right before Xmas. Was out doing Xmas loads with UPS out in the worst hit area of Pierce county. Ran into a guy who was stuck. So stopped to see what was wrong (was a rural road, so wasn't anyone coming by soon). He had a nice suburban 4x4. I asked him why he was stuck, since he was in a spot that was easy to get out of (very shallow ditch). Come to find out, he had NO idea how to lock it into four wheel drive. LOL. I showed him how to put the shifter on the floor into 4low and he crept right out of the ditch. He was about to call AAA too. :hehe: So, I'd say this guy is metrosexual.

03-08-2004, 02:36 PM
These things help qualify one for designation as "metrosexual fly fisher":

Going out and buying a new pair of top end waders if you happen to poke a hole in yours because having patches on them is unseemly.

Finding it necessary to get a new fishing vest when it gets a stain on it that won't wash out in the laundry because one must look good astream.

Making sure you never wear a fishing hat more than one year, and make sure it is never a baseball cap.

Always having one of the latest high end rods, lines, and reels because everyone knows this year's model is better than last year's.

Driving one of those BMW or Mercedes "Urban SUV" things to the river to fish.

03-08-2004, 02:41 PM
Eddie -

You make some good points... I would imagine that metrosexuals enjoy more welll you know in a month, judging by how favorably most women react to the things we are describing here! :hehe:

John Desjardins
03-08-2004, 02:54 PM
Originally posted by flytyer

Going out and buying a new pair of top end waders if you happen to poke a hole in yours because having patches on them is unseemly.

I guess I'm unseemly then.

03-08-2004, 02:54 PM
Because of your fishing weekend you happily except 3 strait weekends of taking your wife or girlfreind, shopping at the mall, to the Opera and her and her kids to Disney World. And the thing is you really want to do that for her because she is your equal in life!

Dave, can you hear me????????

Brian Simonseth
03-08-2004, 04:30 PM

Good thread!

Sink Tip

Both of those guys use long belly lines!

Oh no! I started a Fishing Tread!:confused:

Metrosexual Homer2handed

03-08-2004, 04:57 PM

You need to give some of the credit to Skinner. He is who I was fishing with all weekend and he use a long bellied line. I don't think we can call Skinner metrosexual.

03-08-2004, 04:58 PM
Well that leave me out I guess. I cant even answer yes to one of the items listed above.

But then Prineville is 150 miles from the nearest thing you could call metro.

03-08-2004, 06:17 PM

Yes I know. You Skagit fanatics think Windcutters are long bellied lines. Go figure.

"Its not how far you cast, its how long you keep the swing going"

03-08-2004, 06:35 PM
Oh-oh. I drive an Exterra, drink single malt, smoke Cubans, wear Maui Jims, Simms G-3's, use a Loop Evotech, cast long and short belly lines, fly into the Dean - is there anything metrosexual I've missed? I guess I might as go big or go home...

Wait, I do fart in my Gortex and smile as the aroma percolates out through the water ... is there still hope for me?

03-08-2004, 08:21 PM
What if my Mac is older than my kids, my haircuts are self done with the horse clippers, I read only the cartoons in the new yorker (it's all they got to read in that nice clean bathroom at the gas station), think international cuisine is a can of Spaghetti O's, buy wadin shoes, huntin shoes and tenner shoes and thought Barth Sontag and Demilo were in the Mama's and the Papas. I might be a redneck (my pickup has curtains but my trailer house don't) but I hope I aint one of them Metro sexuals. How does a 250 pound guy have ANY kind of sex in one of them little Geo Metro's anyways. Thank goodness for Ford pickups (1972)!!

03-08-2004, 09:15 PM

A Metrosexual would never tape his cigar after having broken it! And I've seen patches on your waders.

03-08-2004, 09:52 PM
I hate to break it to you Kush but the metrosexuals would not want you. You are, how should I say this, a little too seasoned for them. Besides, Jimi is not metrosexual listening fare.

03-08-2004, 11:34 PM
no kush, I don't think you can be metrosexual, even though you drive a (s)ExTerra...

but since you like single malts, you could be maltrosexual
or your fondness for Cubans could make you Castrosexual...oooohhh, but that doesn't sound very nice now, does it...:whoa:

Brian Simonseth
03-08-2004, 11:35 PM
sink tip is right kush!

sink tip
you better look at those lines again!
there over 60 feet!

wet fly
03-09-2004, 12:05 AM
Back in the good old days I just wondered what part of Seattle they were from. Or could it be any place south of the Stilly. Jerry

03-09-2004, 12:25 AM

Well, maybe since I've fished my last eleven days with a Skagit head and not the long belly I could be classed as a transsexual :whoa:

Brian Simonseth
03-09-2004, 12:30 AM
Good one kush:D

03-09-2004, 10:04 AM
it's time to come out.
Only reading the cartoons? Yeah, and I buy "Swank" for the articles.
Any mac is a mac.
You sure seem to have a thing for new shoes.
What do you need all those hair cuts for? Hmmm...I say get your self to the Pilates Studio, put some product in the hair, and treat your self to a trip to the City. While there, look at the Dianne Arbus exhibit and maybe aplaud some same sex marriages. Then have a nice dinner at Zuni, but take it easy. A ceasar salad and a glass of wine will do. With your new found fitness (THANKS YOGA!), tantric sex will be no problem in the geo. And you found a good parking spot in the Marina(THANKS geo!). Remember to save your strength, because after that, it's straight up to the Trinity for a day of fishing (I'm FREEZING! thanks fancy goretex stocking foot waders).
Ahhh...to return to Meca.

03-09-2004, 02:59 PM
Tell me if I'm safe, I tie flies stream side with hair I've pulled from my back?

03-09-2004, 03:38 PM
I tried, but just can't stay away from this thread!

Kush - I don't think you'd qualify as a transsexual either - what you're talking about is more of a migration between subspecies :hehe:

Andre - the real question is => are you pulling those back hairs out with your fingers or a tweezer?

Dana - Maltrosexual?? I've just gotta ask the next guy I see on the river takin a nip about that one! :razz:

03-09-2004, 04:18 PM
ex-foliation is a fundemental tenant of "metro-sexual" hygene. Your stream side ritual is very "Iron John". Thank you for sharing.

03-09-2004, 06:16 PM
OK, I'll admit that my tenners are actually Manolo Blancos and the Mac laptop matches my Guuchi travel bag and tie, I diligently write rebuttals to the New Yorkers food critic who is way to into nuevelle cuisine (SO 80's!) and avant garde in his opinion of asian/american/french fusion. I have actually embraced my newfound self through the guidance of my gay married pilates instructor
(your brother is a FINE instructor by the way, thanks for the referral) and actually have transcended from tantric Geo sex into Spey Casting woven silk lines with a group of born again Porn Queens as we SHARE our emotional and spiritual epiphanies. By the way, does anybody have an organically grown nicotene free cigarette rolled in natural wheat grass paper I could bum???:smokin:

03-09-2004, 07:39 PM

I am crushed! I mean what is there for a metrosexual not to like?

03-09-2004, 08:19 PM

Got to love that dapper head gear!!!

03-09-2004, 10:38 PM

That was a great day!

and it has to be Bombay Sapphire, correct? Hmmm...maybe there is something to this metrosexual thing...

03-09-2004, 11:36 PM
A close look at the wrapper....brownish.... a little white.... Montecristo...Right?

03-09-2004, 11:51 PM
Ah yes... Bombay Saphire Martinis, Montecristos - the life of the metrosexual in Spence's Bridge :smokin:

And here is a shot of a few of the local babes....

03-10-2004, 12:23 AM
:chuckle: :hehe: :chuckle:

hey John post the chick magnets photo (I can't find it)

03-10-2004, 12:31 AM

I've heard of folks admiring the local "wildlife"; but not quite to this degree. Hmmm...... does that mean you are more in touch with your "animal instincts" than most?

03-10-2004, 12:49 AM
Ok Juro...if we must..... Cape Cod Instructors in being Metros.

03-11-2004, 09:43 AM
Kush, you wearin' boots when you walken' up the them ladies from that angle?

Brian, using fingers, but I might wade to the opposite bank as I know where a "babe" hangs out who might help me out.

On a side note, I met a spey caster on the run the other day who has seen the "babe" said shes a regular. :eyecrazy: My eyes are burning at the thought.

03-12-2004, 01:22 PM
10. The handle on your rod still has the plastic on it
9. Your dog has 2 names
8. Wife or girlfriend makes more money then you
7. The color of your waders and jacket match (unless you are wearing camo which is another story)
6. Drink scotch out of the proper glass
5. Never have gotten fish slime on yourself
4. Let wife or girlfriend tell you what to do because they make more money then you
3. Have more jewelry than your wife or girlfriend
2. Your SUV has no mud on it, none at all
1. You wear a thong and like it..

03-12-2004, 01:46 PM
I just did a mental checklist and I don't think Kush qualifies except for the item listed # 1.

Brian Simonseth
03-12-2004, 02:39 PM
sink tip

BEST POST!:chuckle:

kush what color do you wear?:hehe:

03-12-2004, 05:06 PM
But when you look like this .... a thong is just the proper thing to wear :smokin:

03-12-2004, 05:08 PM
BTW - don't be fooleed by the single hander - the double hander is just out of sight....

03-12-2004, 05:23 PM
Kush that is just WRONG.


03-12-2004, 05:32 PM
Guys you know SANDI posts as KUSH all the time... I have a sneaky feeling this ain't the work of Tyler but his fairer counterpart is loose at the keys!

03-12-2004, 06:08 PM
I know you're excited about Spey-o-Rama, but isn't this a bit extreme? ;)

03-12-2004, 06:20 PM

Although I read most of what's posted here, if I am posting I do sign my own name. However, in regards to the picture, he did steal it from me.....the rotter. :tsk_tsk: :tsk_tsk:

Makes a girl think about taking up flyfishing. Hmmm....

Let's see, I have waders, I've got boots, access to plenty of equipment, love being near and in the water.......oh wait, you mean that's not the instructor.

:mad: Damn, I'm going back to bed it's too early to be up anyway.

Cheers Sandi

03-12-2004, 06:25 PM

You shaved!


03-16-2004, 12:42 AM
Someone offering "back, crack, and sack wax" with full day guided trips on the Deschutes now?